Events Attendant Gifts

"I suppose they're less skillful with a rope than they once were, but I'm not complaining."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Sloaney Pony.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Trade Show Sherpas

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

The Aisle

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

I am your BIGGEST fan!

"You owe me £50. I told you that he didn't have the nerve not to turn up!"

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

"You've got to blurb me to her."

Eurocopa 2016

A pirate and a bride

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

"I know I was ecstatic to get tickets for Glastonbury - it's just that now I realise I have to go."

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

Florist.

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,