School Event Participant Gifts

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Paul goes home for the holidays

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

King of Music.

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'Oh, Christ.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

Prom Theme: Coronavirus

"Very effective talk on the power of non-verbal communication."

"Give my kid a passing grade and you could be looking at many more nice apples."

Science Fair: 'We need a new rule - all projects MUST be in a container!'

Giant cat at school open night.

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

Children lining up for face-in-a-hole school photograph.

"Could you tell which flower was me, daddy?"

'Just a suggestion...have you ever thought of boosting attendance with a bobble-head day?'

"Are there any questions about the Battle of Austerlitz?"