School Event Participant Pillows

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

Paul goes home for the holidays

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

King of Music.

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'Oh, Christ.'

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

Prom Theme: Coronavirus

"Give my kid a passing grade and you could be looking at many more nice apples."

Science Fair: 'We need a new rule - all projects MUST be in a container!'

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

"Very effective talk on the power of non-verbal communication."

Giant cat at school open night.

What?! No way are we pushing for a green prom. Eco-club. Do we have to take the fun out of everything? People will totally embrace it if we frame it in the right way. Like? Saving energy by turning the lights down really low! Or using fewer chaperones. I can deal!

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

Pinata Pranks

Our dance has to be sustainable. I'll send electronic invites. Eco Club. We can hang white LED Christmas lights. The food will be seasonal! Ice cream? W. Fester School.

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

Children lining up for face-in-a-hole school photograph.

'Just a suggestion...have you ever thought of boosting attendance with a bobble-head day?'

"Are there any questions about the Battle of Austerlitz?"