School Event Organizer Pillows

'Your teacher called and said the school concert tickets you sold me for $20 were free.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Face painting.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Face painting by numbers.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Paul goes home for the holidays

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Hey, hey, hey!'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

King of Music.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Extra Long-jump

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

The Aisle

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.