School Event Coordinator Pillows

'The party finished early, our teacher had a nervous breakdown.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Face painting.

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Face painting by numbers.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Paul goes home for the holidays

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

King of Music.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Extra Long-jump

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

The Aisle

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"