Life Event Coordinator Pillows

Florist.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Face painting by numbers.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Not guilty?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Last chance to break my leg! I mean, ski this run!'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Extra Long-jump

New Year's Eve party for dogs

Turn Down For What.

"Cheers to being a person."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

The Aisle

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"