Life Event Coordinator Pillows

Florist.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Face painting by numbers.

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"Not guilty?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Last chance to break my leg! I mean, ski this run!'

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Extra Long-jump

New Year's Eve party for dogs

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

Turn Down For What.

"Cheers to being a person."

The Aisle

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."