Event Coordinator Pillows

'This is strictly off the record...'

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

'He gets like that at these out of town conventions.'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'Finally, I'd like to thank the bridesmaids...wait a minute: wrong speech!'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Zoom Wedding Crasher

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

A pirate and a bride

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Bridezilla

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Eurocopa 2016

"You owe me £50. I told you that he didn't have the nerve not to turn up!"

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.

'Hey, hey, hey!'

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

"Unfortunately, I assumed that attending the nation's number one party school would assure me the position of 'Office Party Organizer' at a major company."

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"

'I was an ardent Royalist until I found out that we're only entitled to unpaid leave.'

The Aisle

"I curate children's parties."

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

Calendar Co. Holiday Schedule. There's two American holidays honoring the military, one in May and one in November. You'd think that at least one would be in March.

Four hints that your microphone might not be on.

Thanks for the lift to the flower show. I support your volunteer efforts. They're lucky to have someone with your gardening experience. Hardly! Information. The ladies room is to the left, funnel cakes to the right.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

I could have danced all night!