School Event Enthusiast Gifts

"What scares me about some of these people is that they have parental tenure on day one."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Paul goes home for the holidays

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"Finally...school starts next week."

King of Music.

'Oh, Christ.'

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

High School

"He's gonna be bad for business."

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

'Boy, am I in trubbal.'

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

"I know I was ecstatic to get tickets for Glastonbury - it's just that now I realise I have to go."

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'