School Event Enthusiast Gifts

"What scares me about some of these people is that they have parental tenure on day one."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Paul goes home for the holidays

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"Finally...school starts next week."

King of Music.

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

'Oh, Christ.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

High School

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

'Boy, am I in trubbal.'

"He's gonna be bad for business."

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

Classroom.