Seafood Satirist Gifts

"This is Gerald - he puts on the rubber bands."

Fresh calamari.

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"Simply put, our 'Nostalgia Special' is the 'Catch' of yesterday."

Finding the Venus in the Clams.

'No dolphins were harmed while netting this tuna.'

Edna, I fear our love doesn't have a future... My parents would eat you!

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

'No swordfish were harmed in the catching of our tuna, and no tuna were harmed in the catching of our swordfish.'

"Let me tell you something about eating strange fish."

Cocaine discovered in British marine life. . . Shrimp Coketail

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Chicken soup for the sole.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Carp, per diem.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Beef Stew.

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

'Order one with anchovies -- I've never seen a fish!'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

Wild and crazy salmon

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

Seaside Aquarium

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

'People soup again?'

The real reason salad aids weight loss