Seafood Satire Fan Gifts

Seaside Aquarium

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

'Catching flying fish...'

Carp, per diem.

Edna, I fear our love doesn't have a future... My parents would eat you!

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

Wild and crazy salmon

Clam

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

An octopus eyes off two fish ladies at the Sand Bar - 'Watch out for this one Gloria... he's all arms!'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

'Great idea, Pete!'

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

Octopie: octopus in a pie pan.

Waitrose Vegan Burgers

Cocaine discovered in British marine life. . . Shrimp Coketail

"Simply put, our 'Nostalgia Special' is the 'Catch' of yesterday."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

'Upsize your children' - 20 to 25 % of children are obese.

Restaurant - featuring large amounts of bad food.

'He's starting to ask what sushi is.'

Happy as a clam

Mad cow disease spreads to other ranches

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."

"One or two customers have complained of vomiting and diarrhoea. But don't worry, it only seems to be a twenty-four hour thing."