Scribbling Scholar Gifts

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Instructional guide to scribbling

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Romans.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Eugene Ionesco

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Dear Diary

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

'Hows it coming?'

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

'Your poetry totally captures the raw, primitive essence of the writing workshops you've attended.'

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

Grooming for beginners.

Writer’s Corner

"I hope you don't mind, I've just scribbled a few different ideas!"

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

Writer's Block

K-9 10k

The final reward for a writer... 'R.I.P. At last a deadline I can live with!'

"No wonder you're struggling with your novel. You're not wearing your writer's hat."

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"