Scribbler Extraordinaire Gifts

'Your poetry totally captures the raw, primitive essence of the writing workshops you've attended.'

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"No wonder you're struggling with your novel. You're not wearing your writer's hat."

'Hows it coming?'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

Writer’s Corner

"I hope you don't mind, I've just scribbled a few different ideas!"

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Writer's Block

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

A pen spewing letters

Tourist graffiti on the top of a mountain.

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

John Bolton

"That laptop was expensive as hell but publishers are still rejecting my stories! I want my money back!"