Scribbler Extraordinaire Gifts

'Your poetry totally captures the raw, primitive essence of the writing workshops you've attended.'

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

They made sense when I woke up and scribbled them down in the middle of the night.

"No wonder you're struggling with your novel. You're not wearing your writer's hat."

'Hows it coming?'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

Anna Burns

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"I hope you don't mind, I've just scribbled a few different ideas!"

Writer’s Corner

Writer's Block

Tourist graffiti on the top of a mountain.

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."