Scrubbing Scholar Gifts

Grooming for beginners.

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

Romans.

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

Medical Student

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

Sign by school library reads: 'Passing Lane'

Oculist.

Sidewalk the game

Surgery.

'So then the linebacker yells back at this guy: 'Oh yeah? Well, next play, I'm gonna cram the ball...' Wait! I got it.'

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

Kevin was very houseproud and it showed.

M- Mouse, L- LCD.

'Do you not have a dictionary?'

"It's the ABCs, Justin. You don't need to fact check."

"I wrote my thesis in just one day. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Remember to leave room for an extraordinarily heavy book you won't read."

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

The SAT test can wear you down.

'Do we have to stop?... I was hoping to forget about education for a while.'

'Does it mean I can move into student digs ?'

'You'll never get anywhere in life with a diligent attitude like that!'

"I'd better do my own homework from now on Dad..."

College of Further Education. . .AND FEES.