Scholar In Scrubs Gifts

"Poor chap has just discovered his daughter has got in to medical school!"

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

The Bookworm

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Wikipedia...

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"Must be another paradigm shift."

"Have you been working out?"

'Read that last part back to me.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

Too big to fail

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

Petrarch

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"What does it all mean?"

W. B. Yeats

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

Brain Power

"Question authority"

Lowbrow Lolita

"You might have time left for one more book, but only if it doesn't require and lot of research."

Francois Rabelais

The What's-The-Hurry? Institute

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."