Traveling Scholar Gifts

'Do we have to stop?... I was hoping to forget about education for a while.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Remember, it's the journey not the destination."

"He walked in, said he was a visiting scholar, and made himself at home."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

A girl climbs a ladder of books

Sign by school library reads: 'Passing Lane'

"No, it's not real, but it does wonders for school bus discipline."

"Lest we forget, dear Tenzing, it's about the journey and not the destination."

Grooming for beginners.

"You got 136? It says here you're genius if you get a 132."

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

Evolution

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

Gurus wise words on lost socks

'Nice invention, but what about jet lag?'

'You'll never get anywhere in life with a diligent attitude like that!'

Man arriving at airport sees a monitor with rescheduled debt on it!

'Back home! Now I can get on with my holiday reading.'

'I can go to college after all if you increase my allowance to $50,000.'

Remote Control Filth

"No, dear. You won't still have to go to school when you're Daddy's age. Daddy goes to school because he's a teacher."

'Please, please, please, I know the Impact Factor of this conference is low, but it's in Paris!'

The US has many problems.

Bible as the reading material on a plane