Academic Traveler Gifts

'Please, please, please, I know the Impact Factor of this conference is low, but it's in Paris!'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Eternal Student.

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

Scarcity

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Now showing, at a University near you...

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"We thought this was more realistic."

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'