Academic Adventurers Gifts

Graduate School: That's right,,,You're STILL here,

"I'd like to extend a special welcome to those of you who are joining us for the first time, as part of a nightmare you're having."

'I'm sick of history - is there never an end to it?'

'X='

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"I think of you as my academic wingman."

'This our team nickname!!'

"It needs more science and less fiction."

"Dear Brenda Walshe, I'm afraid that this foundation strongly discourages grant proposals in rhyming couplets."

"What if I'm actually gifted, and first grade just didn't challenge me enough? Maybe I should just skip second grade altogether and go directly to grade four."

"You've got an unconditional offer from the University of West Lincs."

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"By golly, that is a nasty rash...but I'm actually a Doctor of Philosophy!"

"Dad, I made a mistake. A big mistake."

Cost of Education.

'School report, cert. PG.'

Winooski - A camp for sort of gifted boys.

'My parents can't ever criticize my writing because they're both doctors!'

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Last Parent Trying To Get Child Into College

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Eternal Student.

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Now showing, at a University near you...