Academic Wanderer Gifts

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Eternal Student.

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Interdisciplinary studies.

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

Scarcity

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

Now showing, at a University near you...

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'What rhymes with D minus?'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'