Academic Explorer Gifts

'Thank you for pretending you understand Kierkegaard.'

'I'm going to refer to an educational theory which was first published in February and is still applicable today.'

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

"That book is not available at this branch, this library system or this solar system, but we can order it for you."

"Can you help me, Mrs. Green? This wasn't covered in any of my education courses!"

'Perpetual Sutdent Syndrome Clinic' Director: R. Chones, BA, MA, PhD, MSW, MBA.

'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'

"We collaborate. I'm an expert but not an authority, and Dr. Gelbis is an authority, but not an expert."

'Son, history is important because it's the story of our past that we rewrite to understand our present.'

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

'Do I get part credit for trying?'

"I'm really sorry for missing the deadline to hand in my paper, Professor... the essay mill was late!"

The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.

"This is where petrophysics leaves off, and petrochemistry steps in."

'I got a performance indicator of either establishing, developing or emerging!'

"Again we've proven something no one will ever care about."

'Tell us, in layman's terms, what your breakthrough means.'

'Did you really? I flunked out of Bob Jones, too!'

"Actually, it was pure chance that I went into physics. I thought I was signing up to major in phys ed."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

Eternal Student.

"It doesn't bother me that I have a Ph.D. and I work here. My Ph.D. is in selling fish."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"Is there an ebony tower, too?"

'You are so just not simply an anecdotal reference in an oversized college textbook. Of course, you know that.'

"The only way to create a sensation as an essayist these days is to write something mean about cats."

"Terri invited me over. We're going to play doctor of humane letters."

'All of our nurses have degrees now, so if there's anything you need to know about the impact of the Reformation on European politics then just call for Nurse Dickens...'

Books the Prof Ordered. . . More Cost-Effective Books Ordered By The Bookstore Manager.

I merely wanted to read books.

"If you would like to get to know me I'm teaching a course on me next semester."

'I didn't know they gave degrees for 'undecided'.'

"A home-schooling Ph.D.? That sounds a little fishy to me."