Education Explorer Gifts

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

'A grade of 85 or higher will get you a favorable mention in my blog.'

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

'What's he going to be when he passes all his exams?' 'A pensioner!'

PS 143, 'Apparently, double negatives are okay in math but not in English.'

We realise you do better on your I.Q. tests than you do in anything else, but you just cannot major in I.Q.

'I'm switching my major to 'rehab', so I can meet celebrities.'

'It was okay, but they sure impose a lot of deadlines!'

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

'I need some help with my homework, Dad -- do you know anybody who knows anything about political science?'

Educational Experience Ahead.

Student to teacher: 'After Accelerated Math I think I deserve a rest.'

'No wonder I'm failing Math. I'm just no good with numbers. Even when I called the math homework helpline, I got the wrong number.'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

Interdisciplinary studies.

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'Elizabeth...name eight animals that inhabit the arctic region...'

'One advantage to homeschooling junior is that I am now learning things I never learned when I went to school.'

'My son needs a laptop for college. Do you have any with a keyboard that does not have the $ key?'

"I'm majoring in undiscovered eastern religions with a minor in underwater basket weaving, I am hoping to get a job as a government economist when I graduate."

A confused looking teacher reads a book called "A Multicultural Approach to Teaching Long Division".

'And another confusing thing, they give you a ‘textbook,' but it has nothing to do with texting.'

'Good morning, class. I'm Ms. Gardener, and I know how you feel. My mother made me come too.'

"Maybe it's time we look into home colleging."

'I realize that algebra is greek to you but that does not count as a foreign language credit.'

"Take Your Daughter to Work Day is no fun when your mother is a teacher."

'Being home-schooled means I can be a runaway and a dropout at the same time.'

"The 10-week course costs $600 and takes an hour and a half to complete."

'Welcome to Edexcel enter through the door on right.'

School of Ology.

'Any chance you can charge this to my student loan?'

Public Relations 101: Today's Lecture: 'Weapons of mass deception.'

'I wish that she'd make up her mind - yesterday she told us that three and one made four...'