Sniffing Scholar Gifts

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

Jewish Geometry

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Too big to fail

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

Grooming for beginners.

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

"Remember to leave room for an extraordinarily heavy book you won't read."

"Mmm, smell this one."

'He decided he'd rather represent gluttony.'

Satan's desk boxes say mortal and venial.

Manna from heaven puts the olfactory talents of Israel's dogs to the test.'

The SAT test can wear you down.

'And this book comes in shiny coffee-table-crisp or library-ready-pre-read and musty.'

'He believes in taking time to stop and smell the noses.'

State University Research Lab into the Jitters and HebbieJeebies.

"The Hodal deal ….. It doesn't pass the smell test."

"Have you ever thought about getting an e-reader?"

"Our mistress is a florist you see, so it's fun to sniff her when she gets home to guess which flowers are in season..."