Sneaky Scholar Gifts

Book Thief in True Crime Department

The Bookworm

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

'This time, put it someplace where we can find it.'

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

In Disguise.

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

'It's the simple things.'

Furtive Milking

"My boss says I'm very good at what I do."

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

"He's in first grade. He'll get to Zs."

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

Street trader tricking police.

"No. I can still see you."

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

'By the time they realize what's up bear season will be over.'

Cheating Alien

"It's a helmet cam. This way I won't miss out on anything if I fall asleep."

Chad cheats death – and would live on to lead a very stupid life.

K-9 10k

'Heads up, Carl! Pinch runner!'

Seven Deadly Sins. Anger. Envy. Covetousness. Gluttony. Lust. Sloth. Pride. After you've successfully resisted the other six deadly sins, it's really hard not to be proud.

"I told the missus I'd be pottering around the garden all weekend."