Sneaky Scholar Gifts

Book Thief in True Crime Department

The Bookworm

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

'This time, put it someplace where we can find it.'

In Disguise.

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

Furtive Milking

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

"My boss says I'm very good at what I do."

'It's the simple things.'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

"He's in first grade. He'll get to Zs."

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

"No. I can still see you."

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

Cheating Alien

Street trader tricking police.

'By the time they realize what's up bear season will be over.'

Chad cheats death – and would live on to lead a very stupid life.

'Heads up, Carl! Pinch runner!'

"It's a helmet cam. This way I won't miss out on anything if I fall asleep."

"I didn't actually read the book. I listened to it on audio."

"I told the missus I'd be pottering around the garden all weekend."

"Nice try, but learning by osmosis is not a thing."