Schoolkid Comrade Gifts

"Ma! The cool kids at school won't let me play!"

"Bad dog."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'Hey, man, cool shirt.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

'How many times have I told you to stay out of the cemetery?'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'Don't you hate undergoing peer review in these high school chemistry labs?'

Boys in the cloakroom.

That's what I call a well trained dog!!

Romeo and Juliet 2.0

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"Oh, great. The boss is in one of his enigmatic, 'Guess what I'm thinking' moods again."

'I see you're still copying from other people's papers, Billy.'

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

We'll now take a minute for silent meditation.

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

"My math teacher says I should consider becoming a teacher some day."

'HA! You are defenceless against my Churn Ray!'

'We're like the canine unit, only tougher. Instead of dogs we use big, bad wolves.'

Dog, dressed as vet, is about to give cat lethal injection. Cat owner says: 'Terminal? I hope you don't mind if I get a second opinion.'

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

"Of course I know Jim. We once built a time machine together. We go way back."