Office Comrade Gifts

"Meet your new manager!"

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

"Bad dog."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

Bureau of the Damned

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

Workplace Shinanigans

'In case the guys organize a game.'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

'How many times have I told you to stay out of the cemetery?'

'So, Bixbey! Caught you at trying out my desk again, have I?'

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

'Don't you hate undergoing peer review in these high school chemistry labs?'

That's what I call a well trained dog!!

'The home E-commerce business is doing well, but he misses his little friends at the office.'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

"That's the first time I've heard the word disembowl in a sales meeting."

"Oh, great. The boss is in one of his enigmatic, 'Guess what I'm thinking' moods again."

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

'They've been carpooling together for 30 years.'

"Wider."

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"There, that ought to hold you."

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

"Of course I know Jim. We once built a time machine together. We go way back."

Who has two thumbs and

'We're like the canine unit, only tougher. Instead of dogs we use big, bad wolves.'

Dog, dressed as vet, is about to give cat lethal injection. Cat owner says: 'Terminal? I hope you don't mind if I get a second opinion.'

"My math teacher says I should consider becoming a teacher some day."