School Comrade Gifts

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"Bad dog."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Hey, man, cool shirt.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

'How many times have I told you to stay out of the cemetery?'

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'Don't you hate undergoing peer review in these high school chemistry labs?'

Boys in the cloakroom.

That's what I call a well trained dog!!

Romeo and Juliet 2.0

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"Oh, great. The boss is in one of his enigmatic, 'Guess what I'm thinking' moods again."

'I see you're still copying from other people's papers, Billy.'

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

We'll now take a minute for silent meditation.

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"Of course I know Jim. We once built a time machine together. We go way back."

"My math teacher says I should consider becoming a teacher some day."

Who has two thumbs and

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"There, that ought to hold you."

"Say Jeeeeeez!"

'We're like the canine unit, only tougher. Instead of dogs we use big, bad wolves.'

Dog, dressed as vet, is about to give cat lethal injection. Cat owner says: 'Terminal? I hope you don't mind if I get a second opinion.'

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."