Office Camaraderie Lover Gifts

'The home E-commerce business is doing well, but he misses his little friends at the office.'

"That's the first time I've heard the word disembowl in a sales meeting."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Welcome to the Team

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Belief and Trust.

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Workplace Shinanigans

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

"We're restructuring - Wednesday moves to Friday, Tuesday becomes Wednesday, Monday stays where it is and Thursday and Friday will be merged with the weekend."

'In case the guys organize a game.'

Ordnance: 'explode...implode'.

"Starting here, each person whisper to your neighbor the purpose of this meeting and we'll see what we end up with."

'Seize another day... This one is mine.'

'I want you guys to be aware that a dog-eat-dog environment works for me.'

"I hope your day is going bad."

'So, Bixbey! Caught you at trying out my desk again, have I?'

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'I told him that I was leaving...that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork, the mind and morale sapping mountain of procedures and protocols!'

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"

"I miss the old water cooler."

"Apropos your request for a salary increase, we're going to have you appraised."

'Oh, so you want to get nasty? Well, two can play that game! Remember when I told you to have a nice day? I RETRACT IT! Oh, yes I can! I just DID!'

'They've been carpooling together for 30 years.'

You're getting that office with windows you've always wanted - you'll be working from your car in the parking lot with a laptop.

'One good thing about my record is all my crimes have been pardonable.'

'I quit drinking coffee with lunch - it was keeping me awake all afternoon.'