Office Camaraderie Lover Pillows

'The home E-commerce business is doing well, but he misses his little friends at the office.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Welcome to the Team

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Belief and Trust.

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Workplace Shinanigans

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

Ordnance: 'explode...implode'.

'In case the guys organize a game.'

"Starting here, each person whisper to your neighbor the purpose of this meeting and we'll see what we end up with."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'

"I hope your day is going bad."

'Seize another day... This one is mine.'

'I want you guys to be aware that a dog-eat-dog environment works for me.'

'So, Bixbey! Caught you at trying out my desk again, have I?'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'I told him that I was leaving...that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork, the mind and morale sapping mountain of procedures and protocols!'

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

"I miss the old water cooler."

"Apropos your request for a salary increase, we're going to have you appraised."

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"

'Oh, so you want to get nasty? Well, two can play that game! Remember when I told you to have a nice day? I RETRACT IT! Oh, yes I can! I just DID!'

You're getting that office with windows you've always wanted - you'll be working from your car in the parking lot with a laptop.

'I quit drinking coffee with lunch - it was keeping me awake all afternoon.'

'One good thing about my record is all my crimes have been pardonable.'

"When Human Resources said that we needed a more diverse workforce I'm not sure THAT'S what they meant!"