School System Analyst Gifts

"When asked what they would do now that NCLB is no longer, 95% of teachers said, with a sigh of relief....teach. The other 5% were too busy correcting papers to answer the survey."

The Computer Bore

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Computer Expert

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Computer monitor for a head.

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Hardware and software

Fixing the Computer.

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

Binary Man

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

Windows or Mac?

"Go ahead and laugh, but this baby hasn't crashed since 1961."

Computer Life

Of course we're faster and more powerful now. I just think we commanded more respect when we filled an entire room.

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"Robots can't take away your job, Khanna. No one knows what you do."

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'