Class System Analyst Gifts

"Relax - he called you a peasant, not a pedant."

The Computer Bore

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Computer Expert

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Computer monitor for a head.

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Hardware and software

Fixing the Computer.

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

Binary Man

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Windows or Mac?

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"I have my pants put on one leg at a time."

"Go ahead and laugh, but this baby hasn't crashed since 1961."

"Robots can't take away your job, Khanna. No one knows what you do."

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

Computer Life

Of course we're faster and more powerful now. I just think we commanded more respect when we filled an entire room.

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"