School Tax Analyst Gifts

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"Whadya know, we're being audited."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

'Keep a lid on it!'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'Mr. Grubb? It's about your benefit claim.'

A Tax Auditor Prescribes Treatment For A Doctor's Condition

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

IRS... we know how you feel about the government wasting money! Damnit! We pay taxes too!

Of Congress can't come to an agreement on a spending plan...

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

'I'm faced with a dilemma. I've got to audit your tax return.'

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

'It's a bet - If I don't take this next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'