Tax Break Analyst Gifts

"The politicians said 'Let there be tax breaks.' And there were tax breaks."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

'Keep a lid on it!'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

'My teacher says that your tax cut favors the rich.'

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Kenosha. What's your problem?! I'm a grad student pursuing my PhD. in robotics. Under the recent tax plan that passed the House, I'd have to count my tuition waiver as income, even though I never received any actual money. This would put me in a higher tax bracket and I'd have to drop out because I could never afford to pay those taxes. Good riddance, Poindexter. Science is nothing but gobbledygook anyway. Studies have shown that's not the case.

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'There are billions and billions of dollars of unreported income. How come we don't have any of it?'

'Your money? — does it or does it not have 'United States Treasury' printed on it?

'What would be the point to be super-rich if we're super-taxed?'

"I just can't resist...it's the nature of the beast in me!"

"But if I raise your allowance you'll loose your none tax payer status"

"With the new tax code, I have until 2025 to become a one-percenter."

It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. I'm devastated. My favorite fast-food place is cheating on me. That's what it feels like, anyway. It's Burger King! Burger King's moving its headquarters to Canada to weasel out of paying taxes! I feel so betrayed. How do I deal with this betrayal, Sadie?! You sound a lot like the CEO of McDonald's. McWhat? Never heard of it.