Tax Break Analyst Gifts

"The politicians said 'Let there be tax breaks.' And there were tax breaks."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

'Keep a lid on it!'

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

'My teacher says that your tax cut favors the rich.'

'There are billions and billions of dollars of unreported income. How come we don't have any of it?'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'Your money? — does it or does it not have 'United States Treasury' printed on it?

"I just can't resist...it's the nature of the beast in me!"

'What would be the point to be super-rich if we're super-taxed?'

"With the new tax code, I have until 2025 to become a one-percenter."

"But if I raise your allowance you'll loose your none tax payer status"