Tax Evasion Analyst Gifts

It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. I'm devastated. My favorite fast-food place is cheating on me. That's what it feels like, anyway. It's Burger King! Burger King's moving its headquarters to Canada to weasel out of paying taxes! I feel so betrayed. How do I deal with this betrayal, Sadie?! You sound a lot like the CEO of McDonald's. McWhat? Never heard of it.

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

The High-Tension Drama of "The Fiscal Cliff"

'Keep a lid on it!'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

"You never saw a tax haven. Now look into this light.

Wishing Well: Tax reciept available for business related wishes.

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'My teacher says that your tax cut favors the rich.'

'It's a bet - If I don't take this next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Kenosha. What's your problem?! I'm a grad student pursuing my PhD. in robotics. Under the recent tax plan that passed the House, I'd have to count my tuition waiver as income, even though I never received any actual money. This would put me in a higher tax bracket and I'd have to drop out because I could never afford to pay those taxes. Good riddance, Poindexter. Science is nothing but gobbledygook anyway. Studies have shown that's not the case.

"According to our information you have placed a looted treasure in an undiscovered land..."

"I just can't resist...it's the nature of the beast in me!"

IRS, 'This is the first time I've seen the square root of minus one on a tax return.'

'What would be the point to be super-rich if we're super-taxed?'

"With the new tax code, I have until 2025 to become a one-percenter."

"I'll show you mine, if you show me yours."

It's 10 pm. Do you know where your tax loopholes are?

News and Magazines. Tax code changes. I don't care anymore whether I pay more taxes or less taxes, as long as I don't have to understand it.