Tax Evader Guru Gifts

"Let's make a deal. . . I won't audit you in exchange for a discount on one of your Warhols."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

Panama Papers Scandal

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

Money laundering.

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Little Taxes.

'Doing your taxes wasn't what I had in mind when I asked for an extra-credit assignment in econ.'

'...We're just the Intergalactic Rescue Society.'

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'I made my fortune the old fashioned way - concealing it from the government.'

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

Accountant's Awards - "Our next award is for 'Tax Loophole of the Year'..."

"Is that before or after tax?"

"Chris, find a safe and fast way into lucrative tax heavens!"

"If it's the I.R.S., tell them: Not a penny! Not a centime! Not a sou!"

'I came to explain about my income tax.' - 'Ok, start lying.'