Tax Evader Guru T-Shirts

"Let's make a deal. . . I won't audit you in exchange for a discount on one of your Warhols."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

Panama Papers Scandal

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

Money laundering.

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

'I made my fortune the old fashioned way - concealing it from the government.'

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

'...We're just the Intergalactic Rescue Society.'

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Little Taxes.

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

'Doing your taxes wasn't what I had in mind when I asked for an extra-credit assignment in econ.'

'Just because I can explain the theory of relativity doesn't mean I understand the tax code.'

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

Accountant's Awards - "Our next award is for 'Tax Loophole of the Year'..."

"Is that before or after tax?"

'I came to explain about my income tax.' - 'Ok, start lying.'

"Chris, find a safe and fast way into lucrative tax heavens!"