Tax Evasion Analyst Pillows

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

'Keep a lid on it!'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

Wishing Well: Tax reciept available for business related wishes.

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

"According to our information you have placed a looted treasure in an undiscovered land..."

'My teacher says that your tax cut favors the rich.'

'It's a bet - If I don't take this next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

"I just can't resist...it's the nature of the beast in me!"

'What would be the point to be super-rich if we're super-taxed?'

IRS, 'This is the first time I've seen the square root of minus one on a tax return.'

It's 10 pm. Do you know where your tax loopholes are?

"With the new tax code, I have until 2025 to become a one-percenter."

"But if I raise your allowance you'll loose your none tax payer status"