Tax Analysis Gifts

"Any deductions?" "Yes, you're lying."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

'Tax.'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'Keep a lid on it!'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

The Mattress Savings Bank

Basic Tax Law/Loopholes.

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax...' '..Not having to pay it.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'