Tax Analysis Pillows

"Any deductions?" "Yes, you're lying."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'Tax.'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

'Keep a lid on it!'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

The Mattress Savings Bank

Basic Tax Law/Loopholes.

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax...' '..Not having to pay it.'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'