Mini Tax Analyst Gifts

"You get $5 for an allowance, is that after taxes?"

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"It failed the stress test."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"There's another one of those blokes that work from home."

Counting dollars

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.