Mini Accountant Gifts

'That's my boy...'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

SALE

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"It failed the stress test."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

"Two boys from legal to see you."

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

'When I'm a CEO on Wall Street this will make a wonderful anecdote.'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

"Hmmm....not bad. What about liquid assets?"

"I used to get toys as birthday gifts but now that I'm in pre-school, all I get is money for my college fund."

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

'With the current healthcare situation, my son decided he wants a junior investment banker kit.'

"Mom, I think I'm old enough to trade in my piggy bank for an ATM."

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

Actually, I'm not aware that it's a constitutional right to get an allowance...

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

Junior Accountant

"Are we going to start working with larger numbers? I want to work as a federal budget director."

'...Now just key in your safety pin number...'

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"