Amateur Accountant Gifts

Sparky goes outside to do his business.

'But I gave you a cheque book two days ago.'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Sheep Ledger

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

Accountant Bedtime Stories

'That's my boy...'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"For this year's financial picture, we've done away with graphs."

"I'm a soul trader."

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

"Son, 'Law of the Jungle' means that the tax authority guys are the predators and your dad is the prey."

"Hmmm....not bad. What about liquid assets?"

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

"This isn't regular Hell. This is Tax hell, where you'll be audited for all eternity."

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

Good Accountant/Bad Accountant.

Home Business - Accounting Software.

'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'

"Remember when we went out every weekend?? I miss that... Let's get dressed up and go somewhere really expensive!!"

When Accountants Rake Leaves

Junior Accountant

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

'So the cuts have started then?'

'Tonight on the Gourmet Accountant - cooking the books.'

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

"Are we going to start working with larger numbers? I want to work as a federal budget director."

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"