Accounting Enthusiast Gifts

Prisoners of the Cheyenne accountants.

"Welcome to hell for big investors with offshore accounts! The other inmates are looking forward to meeting you...it's a funny bunch of tax investigators!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"What's a debenture?"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Sheep Ledger

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Money Plant.

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'