Accounting Aficionados Gifts

'Tonight on the Gourmet Accountant - cooking the books.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Sheep Ledger

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

Accountant Bedtime Stories

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"Carpe De Revenue!"

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"I'm a soul trader."

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

Tax Cuts Water the Economy.

Advent Calender.

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

Wage Slavery

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

'The company is losing millions and the press are asking questions. Gentlemen,we're looking for a scapegoat.'

Security/Savings

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'