Accountancy Enthusiast Gifts

Good Accountant/Bad Accountant.

'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'

The Rubber Ball Company

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Sheep Ledger

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"I love fast break business success."

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

IRS Audit Section

Accountant Bedtime Stories

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'Since we downsized the board of directors profits are up 300 percent.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Carpe De Revenue!"

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

'The numbers aren't working.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

Intelligent dog.

"I'm a soul trader."

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

And the third quarter projection

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'