Fun-loving Accountant Gifts

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Sheep Ledger

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

Accountant Bedtime Stories

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"I'm a soul trader."

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

"Hmmm....not bad. What about liquid assets?"

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

'The U.S. Treasury announced today that the federal deficit will no longer be measured in 'trillions' of dollars, but in 'light-years'.'

"This isn't regular Hell. This is Tax hell, where you'll be audited for all eternity."

Rhinestone Accountant

'Put the teeth away. I'm the Audit Fairy.'

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

Good Accountant/Bad Accountant.

'Perkins, what about this trip on your expense account to 'Fantasy Island'?'

Home Business - Accounting Software.

'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

'So the cuts have started then?'

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

"And, who is this Alice Chalmers that you've started spending money on?"

Extreme Accounting!

'You owe income tax, social security tax, and of course, graduated tax.'

'Bills in dog hours...7 times more expensive.'