Accountability Enthusiast Gifts

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

"Miss Widlington, I've failed in life, send in someone for me to blame."

"It's a poor craftsman who blames his tools - and in front of all the other tools."

'We improved it? We thought YOU improved it!'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

Sheep Ledger

Under new blame.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

The Female Brain and The Other One

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

Working in a blame culture?

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

IRS Audit Section

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

"You don't need pronouns in your presentation. That's what finger-pointing is for."

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

'You'll notice on my resume that nothing has ever been my fault.'

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

"This isn't regular Hell. This is Tax hell, where you'll be audited for all eternity."

When accountants carry out dawn raids.