Accountability Enthusiast Gifts

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

"Miss Widlington, I've failed in life, send in someone for me to blame."

"It's a poor craftsman who blames his tools - and in front of all the other tools."

'We improved it? We thought YOU improved it!'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

Under new blame.

Sheep Ledger

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

The Female Brain and The Other One

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

Working in a blame culture?

Accountant Bedtime Stories

IRS Audit Section

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

Johnson and Johnson will pay 572 million for Opioids

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"Carpe De Revenue!"

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"I'm a soul trader."

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

Investigating Yourself

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

"You don't need pronouns in your presentation. That's what finger-pointing is for."

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

'You'll notice on my resume that nothing has ever been my fault.'