Accountability Ace Gifts

"That's the danger of mono tasking...you're too easily held accountable."

Failure/Due Diligence

"It's all a matter of planning...."

Under new blame.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Working in a blame culture?

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

In one ear/Out the other.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

"You don't need pronouns in your presentation. That's what finger-pointing is for."

Facebook in Crisis

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

'You'll notice on my resume that nothing has ever been my fault.'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

Tax - Random Audit

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

Be prepared to issue a public whoopsie.

'The new business plan is the same as the old business plan except that, due to layoffs, we have less scapegoats to blame in case of failure.'

'Management can't avoid responsibility for poor patient care...I want to tender my resignation!'

'It's not our fault.'

"Who do I hold accountable if you miss the deadline? Any next of kin?"