Aspiring Accountants Gifts

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

Accountant Bedtime Stories

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

Overdraft limit.

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

I am billing, therefore I am.

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

"Good God! Has the dollar fallen that far?"

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

Toys - Business Model.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"You never saw a tax haven. Now look into this light.

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

'I realize I'm making a huge salary... but I gotta be me.'

Is there a reason I'm going into the red? Reason? Am I being penalized? Have I done something wrong? Maybe it's like A Wonderful Life. Your greed is catching up to you. You're experiencing bad karma. So I need to raise my prices?

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"