School Life Analyst Gifts

The meaning of life...

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

The new boy was teased for being different.

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

'Boy, am I in trubbal.'

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

"He's gonna be bad for business."

High School

"I'm sure your students understand it was your first day, Tom... besides, seeing a man cry doesn't have the stigma it once did!"

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

'He can call whoever he wants, she's still not parking that thing in my classroom!'

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

'Actually, this is my vacation. I'm a substitute teacher.'

'All those years of teaching me to walk and talk. . . now all they want is for me to sit down and shut up!'

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

"I tried talking to the principal about what I’d be teaching next semester, but he kept changing the subject."

"No, it's not real, but it does wonders for school bus discipline."

"I did my homework, but my little brother took it to his 'show and tell'."

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"My problem is, I can't tell the rules from the guidelines."

"I don't know what's worse - my helicopter mom or her drone."

"Ms. Sims and I have known each other for quite some time, but it turns out we aren't on a first-name basis."

Swings Doctor

'How many are just staying together for the kids? OK, that's good, very good.'

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'