Teen Life Analyst Gifts

"No Justin. I'm saving myself for college."

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"Three more years of high school."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

PROBLEM AREAS

Fishbowl rebellion.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

Teenage Angst.

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

An English and French student converse.

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Pubertry

"Stop smirking, it's just an expression! You know perfectly well what I mean when I say I'm putting my foot down and you can't go out tonight!"

"I'm you, from the future, here to deliver a witty comeback line."

Fishbowl Rebellion

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

"We're out of empanadas!"

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

"Hello, Sally? I've decided not to go to the concert. . . my father said I'd have to use my own money!"

'He said he can't put his love for me into words because it exceeds the 140 characters allowed in a tweet.'

'You'r either having trouble hearing, or there's a boy you want to be closer to.'

Jesus As A Teenager Clears The Temple. . .

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

'I think he's beginning to notice girls.He's washed his face without being asked to!'

'All those years of teaching me to walk and talk. . . now all they want is for me to sit down and shut up!'

Guess what Daddy, Gerald plays hockey!

"You said you'd be home at half a candle."

'Be back by 5 AM, and NO texting while echolocating!'