Teen Scene Analyst Gifts

"Have you tried oversharing deeply personal thoughts on social media to help with the phone addiction?"

"They grow up so fast."

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Science Dept...Entomology: 'Too bad humans don't spend their teen years in pupa like insects.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

Welcome to your new English Class.

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

An English and French student converse.

'We've decided to babysit for you, while you go out to a late-night show.'

"He's gonna be bad for business."

"There's something very wrong with this picture, detective."

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'Well at least they died with smiles on their faces.'

"I don't blame you for everything - I blame Dad for some things, too."

Can't you put away your cell phone? Just seeing if Nick's at the prom already. U there yet? Almost!

"So despite the strong smell of petrol you still claim that your husband, cat and budgie all spontaneously combusted?"

'Mom took all the good rebellion stuff.'

"Who do you want to talk to? The man in charge, or the woman who knows what's going on."

"They have been in a terrible mood these days. You know how painful it is when they start developing legs."

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!

'If you've gone off him, please can I have my chewing gum back?'

"Marilyn Johnson does so like me! She's even got a pet name for me...she calls me a dweeb!"

Forget Ryan Beardsley. Why? I'm so on his wave-length! He's way into the environment. No way! He's talking to the principal about recycling. Office. Indeed. If reusing Sally Sipe's English paper counts as recycling.

'Some other guy asked you first, didn't he, Sandra?'

Spot Check

"I said a goodnight kiss, Rodney! Not snog my face off!"

'The killer should not be hard to find - he has left a trail of inserts.'

'He's not really shy - just a bad skater.'

'Never mind WHOdunit - HOWdunnit?'

"A banana Grace left in my room four weeks ago."

Dept. of Traffic Disruption.

"I want to be prepared for my teen years,so I want to practice being mouthy and moody now."

'Do any of your parents know what you're up to here?' 'Mam! Dad!' 'What?'